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My Blog

Everything is connected with everything, everything is a form of energy

Internet!
Posted:Mar 27, 2024 3:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2024 12:42 pm
334 Views

We are all addicted to the w w internet.
What a drama to have no internet, only on my phone....

Give me a sledgehammer anytime over having to install a new modem!!

All those wires, makes me real nervous, afraid of doing something wrong/ stupid.

Well, halejula!! I am back on my laptop...
Now i only have to make a new place to sit, with the laptop,
because i changed the whole living room....
And did not think, of an other place for the laptop!

Gosh!!
bleagh...
give me a sledgehammer anytime over this kind of nonsense..... Sighs....
8 Comments
The benefits of AI?
Posted:Mar 24, 2024 5:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2024 3:44 am
957 Views

Just lately, i heard this, or read it, somewhere?

That "they"- who ever that may be, in your country,

Wanting to use AI, to find the non vaccin people, so "they" can force! Them, to take the needle...
Democracy?
Free will?
Free choice?

Surveillance society.

In China the camera's all over the place, are soo good, at recognising *you*, that if you dont stop for a red trafic light,
You will loose your credits, your job, every thing.

They make you a outcast.
Surveillance / controle society.

No democratie, anymore.

CBCD, Check it out, before its too late...
20 Comments
I am furious./ denied? AGAIN?
Posted:Mar 21, 2024 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2024 10:15 pm
1369 Views

I have been away, from the workplace, again... fot a week...
Visited there, today, to pick up my extra bike, pay for it.

ALT, alt, alt, are you having a good time?
There is no hate, minor, or talk about weapons, Yeah, now those words are in my blog..... duh!? tiresome....

And go home, so when my sister is staying over, we can go on the bikes, to the forests...
When i entered the workplace, inmediately saw that i had a flat back tire.
Wich is strange, because, friday i did pump some extra air in that back tire...
New tire, too

So, i ask this one staff member,
He first did not react at al, on my qeustioning...
Finally he came to see, what was going on....

Then he told me, yeah, the tire was already flat, on monday...
There where also signs, that someone had "worked" on that tire...

I showed him that.
He, went for the attack, telling me, it was my wrong doing.
PARDON!

Dont play the revers psychology card on me!
I know that game, all to well.

So, i was furious!!
Ofcourse, nobody knows nothing!
Did not see one thing...

I am soo done, with that attitude of the staff.
Somehow, he seem to sense, that he overstepped a line, here,
And offered me a bike to lent

That was not the deal!
If they are not even capable to keep my bike safe.....?
Furious!!
Had to walk back again, it was cold, again, and with my minor hip injury...?
That really hurted like a real MF.
And tomorrow, my hip will be very stiff & painful

So, monday i wil come in, fix the tire, again! And leave.

I am done, working there.
10 Comments
Internet,
Posted:Mar 19, 2024 9:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2024 5:28 am
1839 Views

My internet is gone...
Out of order...
So, now, i can only be on here,
By phone...
Have to call the company, i guess...

Such a hassle....

Being in the midst of cleaning my house,
Because family members are coming.

Because, now, i am officially an OLD WOMAN/ WITCH!! 🤣😂
Finally, i made it!!

A friend already came by.
But she is totally not interested in the state of my household!
She looked around, and told me,
I dont see the dirt, your house is clean, what is your problem? 🙃🤪

Women? Crazy folk!! 🤣😂🤣
17 Comments
Wow, just wow!
Posted:Mar 19, 2024 9:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2024 12:23 pm
1825 Views

You wont believe it...
Well, actually you all, WILL believe this.🤣😂

This man writes to me,
All full of himself.

Just asks ONE question...

So, for the sake of it,
( totally NOT taking this serious)
I answer, and, You WILL believe this!!

He, wants to go onto app, right away....
Just after 2 mail exchanges...

Does not ask ONE THING.
All, again, totally full of himself...

I know, i should not give any attention, to such....

BUT, i am always curious, in how they think, ( doubltfull?)
And think, they can get away with this kind of behaviour

There must be one or two women, who really going to travel the world, to get FFF by this totall stranger.
those women must have a rather low selfesteem...or,
Have this hunger for danger games...? ..

So, after that first reaction, i think, i am done, with this person...
It is ALL about s.e.x.... to them.
9 Comments
Hate, weapons, under age?
Posted:Mar 17, 2024 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2024 7:05 am
2545 Views

Alt< alt? alt?
What are you doing?

Now my own comment, in my blog, about my bike workplace, is denied because of the above.
Nowhere in my reaction is anything related to *hate*weapons* or under age*, to be found,
I only tell about how the folks working in this workplace steal about anything if they can get their hands on it.
like my mug and my carpet...

And how they did break open a steel closet, to steal the safe out of it.
There are real big padlocks on those doors.....

How is this comment denied??
I dont know, what they use at the alt office, but it must have had a very bad effect on their .......?!

It would be real funny, if they do deny this comment too!
33 Comments
Emotional garbage?
Posted:Mar 16, 2024 8:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2024 9:29 am
2837 Views

Talked with a friend, it was her birthday.
We got to talking about the Dutch scene and the amount/quality of men in there...

I told her about my latest experiences....

We agreed, those/most? men, in the Dutch scene are definitely no dominants.
They are bedroom players. parttime dominants, hobbistssss...

They lack any real! interest in you, as a person, they inmediately jump into the kinky porn talk.
They inmediately want to see you or have you send them a picture of how you look like,
Never thinking about YOUR feelings of safety.
AT ALL.

They never work on establishing any safety, dont work on building trust,
never say what they mean, and mean what they say.
(unless it is kinky porn talk)

Never stable in how they react to what ever it is, you tell them.

They are good in small talk, if that does not take too long,...
pretending to be interested in you, but really are not.
They dont remember anything you told them, if it is not kinky sexy talk.
if it does not turn them on.

If you told them, you are sad, because you cat, dearest uncle, niece, what ever, died,
They dont remember that at all.

They dont invest time and energy in YOU.

She made me cry, because she said to me, she wanted me to find my kind of man.
And how she wished she could conjure this person, out of clay if she had too,
to make me feel, the way i am, deep down inside.
Because she knóws, the deep down inside mé, she knows how much i long for such a deep commitment, connection.

F*** king is easy, you can f*** with every t, d, or harry...
BUT, that deep, deep trust needed to give myself to someone
To let that someone see, thát deep inside of mé?

To build that deep trust, BEFORE anything else??
You both need to be special, and especially WANTING that,
knowing you, both have to work for it, every day.
conscious decision, to want to surrender, to want to guide and controle and take on that amount of responsibility.

Those men??
wont be able to carry that amount of responsiblity, not even, when their lifes depended on it.

And, i should be giving myself, to those??
They have nothing to offer me.
But pain and missery, because they dont understand that some women, ARE submissive, as in their nature, in their core.

Sure, such women dont show that in day to day living!
They must be mad, to do so!

When such a woman acts (?) shows her true nature in a vanilla setting....
most men, think she is an easy lay...
Dont understand one thing about, what is shown to them.
Because they are vanilla and not Dominant, by nature.... as in their core

Sure, you can be? dominant in the bedroom during some scene / sex role play and afterwards you both go back to your natural selfs, being vanillas with a sparkling sex life...
That is just something totally different from what i am talking about.
It is not less, or more
It is different.

To mé, it feels less... because, the sex is not what this is all about,
the role play is not what this is all about, the amount of orgasms, is not what this is about, or the denial of orgasms....
Thát, are only - to me- actions, without that deep inner connections,
that does not mean anything to me.

This is about surrender, on a mental level, first ad formost, to his rules, to his guidance.
Knowing, he knows me, in and out, knowing i will always be safe, with him.
NO matter what.
after we both got to know each other, the dark, the shiny and the nasty parts of ourselves...
After we found out, we like each other, like the way the other thinks, her/his sense of humor, his work/ethics, moral code...
Whó he/ she is.

So, she made me cry, because it is hiddin very deep inside of me, that submissive woman...
She touched her....
And, when ever that happens, i feel the pain of not having this in my life....
It makes me feel sick... emotional... it is such a deep feeling...of wanting, of needing....
him.
It is like a void, sure i have a good life, have friends, talk, have fun, eat, go to sleep, shower, cook, do my shopping, the mondain stuff... and enjoying that too.... for sure...
But that is just the surface.....

Underneath thát, is a very big hunger, void.... in my core....

Searching, always searching, even when i am not aware that i am doing it,
always scanning, feeling, searching for this special power.... this special energy...

Play dominants, dont show that special energy, dont have that special energy,
to mé, they are just horny vanilla guys, with a lot of sexual fantasies,
and most of the times, a very nervous kind of energy around them... not stable at all...
Much to much only focussed on their own.

Some could be nice, to talk to, maybe...
Most are just soo occupied with their dicks and where they want to put that in,
you cant talk with them, at all.

There is not enough blood left in their brains, for that.....

So, she touched that mé, deep inside of mé....
10 Comments
Work and such....
Posted:Mar 16, 2024 7:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2024 1:06 pm
2812 Views

So, the work on bikes, is still going on,
They dont help me anymore and when i ask for help, they are reluctant to offer .....

Not nice.
Also, because i was at my sisters place, for 3 weeks, all of the sudden, they (?) removed the carpet i put my bike on, just throw it out!
so not to damage the steering, and gear...
My red mug is gone, too.
It was not anything expensive, it was just MINE.
Gone!
Nowbody knows where it is gone??

One other thing, all of the certain, because, for most folks working there, it is a day time activity, to get them back to some sort of daily routine, because of their multi problems, mental cases, drugs related, medicine related... addiction...
And so on,

i now have to pay, to do the volenteers work..
Huh?
There is a lot of money going on, the that kind of "care" for mental cases, homeless folks.
A LOT of money..

They made some calculation in wich it seems as if i gain from this regulation
But, they count a full weeks work, and i dont work a full week..
So, by doing this votenteers work, i am going to pay them, too?!

How about some real crazy rules....
Because i am an exception to the rule, they cant bend the rule for me,
and i have to pay....., anyway!
although i dont need that extra care.. guidance..
And dont get any guidance, or help, at the workplace....

They try to pressure me in getting along with this rule, That is not a smart thing to do, because i dont like to be pressured into something that just does not feel right.

The more they pressure me, the more they give me a reason to doubt their real, sincere motivations....
They awaked the mule in me, that way!

Hows that? for some real crazy situation going on?
I did not decide yet, what to do...?

Today, i was at the market, there is this woman from Ghana, having a very small markket stand, selling dresses, bags, juwelery...
I always go visit her, talk with her, sometimes i buy some dress, or other items.

People here are very, very racist.

We talked and she said she wanted to use a sewing machine, for making some adjustments to some of her bags for sale.
But she did not have a sewing machine....

So, i told her, i have a sewing machine, we can work something out?
If you want, too?
She was very happy with my offer and next week we are going to make a appointment, so she can come to my house and we will see from there?!
She is a very kind woman.

I am also asking real bike shops if they have a working place for me..
Most are just small bike shops, don t have much place for an apprenticeship..
I will see, i keep asking other bike shops.

Although i do know the main maintanance on bikes, the routine is what makes the difference...
10 Comments
Music and books,
Posted:Mar 8, 2024 5:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2024 5:03 am
5648 Views

We had this Dutch Band,
The Golden Earring(s),
first they used the plural.. but later on, they called themself;
Golden Earring.

i really do love their music, lyrics, the drummer, especially.
Now, one of their guitar players is sick, with this muscle sickness,
A.L.S

So, since they are together for like 40 years or something...
I dont know for how long, they did not want to find a new guitar man,
because they are like a 50 year old happily married couple...

They had one hit in the US, RADAR LOVE,
But they made soo much more great music...

We had an other great guy, although he did like to put that white power in his nose a bit too much....
Herman Brood, he sang also English songs, i really do like his voice,
must be like that, because of the drugs...

He jumped from a famous Hotel in Amsterdam, some years ago...

Check them out, if you like, maybe you like that music, too?

Books,
While at my sisters place, i found a great book in her bookshell...

Tina Turner,
Happiness becomes you,

I found it a very interesting book, want one, for myself.
But they only sell them as hardcover.
I dont want a hardcover....
I like paperbacks.

She learned about Buddism, and CHANTING.
well, actually, the other way around, first the CHANTING,

while she was in the middlle of that very violant marriage with Ike..

and later her way into buddims..
It is a great way, to become one, in oneselfs....

That is the only way, i can describe it.

An other book, i found at my work place.
They throw a lot of books out, when they dont sell.

This book,
IKIGAI.
by Fransesc Miralles | Héctor García
Is about almost the same item as Tina Turners book.
To me those two books are in each others line of thinking..

It is also about finding, building a long and happy life....
By keeping active, have hobbies, be part of your own little social group, do daily exercise.
expand if you can, never retire, help other people.

Eat moderate, not after 18 hours, eat fish, tofu, and so on and on...

Still reading it, It has many layers, i love that! about books.
All kind of books.
And in people, too
13 Comments
I was right,
Posted:Mar 8, 2024 4:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2024 6:37 am
5626 Views

And now i feel a bit guilty,

Because there is, indeed, a weather change going on.
It is terrible cold, although the sun is shining, ( does not do one thing, for you) in those freezing cold winds.....

So i put that spider out, in the cold!
Last night, there was a spider, again, such a big one, in my stair case,
she did not introduce herself to me, maybe it is the same spider,
maybe it is her sister, niece, nephew, boyfriend, who knows!!

This morning, she was in the bathroom, at the bottom of a bucket,
thát is not a good place for a spider, running around in circles.
So, i let her out and she run and is hiding somewhere in my bathroom now...

Lesson learned; i will never put a spider out of my house, again, in winter times!
Poor dear!!! LOL
15 Comments

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