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Let Go
Posted:Apr 23, 2018 7:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2018 12:39 am
Let Go

I remember kneeling at his feet at the end of our first day together. He put his fingers under my chin and told me what his ownership meant. That he would be there. That I would have him always. That he would take care of me. Then he told me he felt a wall between us, and he wanted it gone. At first, I didn’t understand. I had obeyed perfectly. I pushed myself to obey even when it was hard. I showed him that I could take whatever he gave me. But he expected more than my obedience. What was more there to give?

When the wall began to fall, I finally understood what he meant. I was submitting with my body, but I hadn’t surrendered myself to him. I hadn’t opened myself and let him in. I was performing my submission to him, rather than being submissive to him. It came from outside of myself—a decision to follow a script, not an outpouring of deep vulnerability. And when I finally felt safe enough to let go, to lose my self-consciousness and be truly bare with him, I was able to give more of myself than I ever thought possible.

But this emotional submission is exceedingly hard. We learn from a young age the value of controlling our emotions. I pride myself on my emotional stability and introspection. When I feel something intense or negative or surprising, I turn it over and over in my mind. I hold onto feelings until I understand them and can wrap them in little boxes with little bows. Before I share them with others, I need to be able to explain where they came from, why I’m feeling them, and what (if anything) needs to be done about them.

But that doesn’t work well in D/s. You have to let go of control, even control of your own feelings. You can’t allow another person to take responsibility for you and make your feelings off limits. My first Dom had a rule that I always had to tell him what I was feeling. Always. It didn’t matter if he was busy or stressed. It didn’t matter if I thought my feelings were stupid, or if I didn’t understand them yet. This was Rule #1. Unbreakable.

That level of openness was utterly terrifying. But I came to understand that my process was taking control of him. I was deciding what was and was not appropriate to share, and these decisions kept me from truly submitting to him. Those messy, raw emotions were as much his property as I was. It was not my place to stand between him and knowing his property, just as a car does not block its gauges from being read.

A while back, I read a submissive’s writing about what it’s like to be slapped in the face repeatedly. In the beginning, you’re a stoic submissive. You keep control over your emotions and just accept the slaps. You accept it because you want to please your Owner. Then the tears start to flow. Eventually, if it continues long enough, anger flares. Then comes the desire to throw up your hands to protect your face. In her dynamic, it was this moment—the loss of emotional control—that meant true surrender. She could no longer hold back her impulses and emotions from her Owner. These emotions belong to him, and he wanted to see them all. Raw and unvarnished and beautiful.

At the same time, complete emotional surrender is not an excuse to lash out at your Dominant. It means working to know yourself, to know what you can and cannot give. It means addressing your feelings honestly and immediately so resentment doesn’t build. And it means communicating respectfully. Yes, you have to open yourself and share what you feel, even if it’s ugly or embarrassing. And yes, that openness is terrifying. But it’s a cornerstone of ownership. Lashing out with your emotions undermines that connection, while honest, respectful communication enhances it.

If you want a deep dynamic built on power exchange, it is not enough to submit physically; you have to surrender control over your emotions. You have to let go of the ability to filter your emotions and wait until they are neatly packaged before sharing with your Dominant. But how do you lose that desire to present your best self? It happens over time, with someone you trust deeply. It happens when someone challenges you to share more of yourself than you ever thought you could. It happens when that raw openness is rewarded—every single time, without fail.

With deep emotional submission comes a bone-deep acceptance that I never knew was possible. To be truly seen and loved in your raw and unvarnished form… For me, that is where ownership truly shines.

You are not the sun
Posted:Apr 23, 2018 5:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2018 7:15 pm
You are not the sun

You were my whole damn sky. You were my first sip of coffee in the morning. You were the tune I’ve always been playing in my head and I know for sure I won’t ever get tired of hearing. You were my sunshine during those rainy days I’ve been stumbling to get through with. I remember how it felt so heavenly the moment our hands intertwine when we walk side by side in the empty streets during Saturday afternoons. I remember the days when just hearing each other’s voice suddenly make us feel like home again. I cannot let a day pass not hearing your cute laugh and how it heals the ugly parts of me in a way like no one else can. I remember how we swore to each other that we will be together until the very end. I entirely made you my whole goddamn universe. You awakened something in me which I realized died years ago. But you decided that I’ve got too much soul and you can’t handle it.

And it’s different now. I can’t remember the sound of your voice and sleepy mumblings whenever we want to fall asleep together in the phone at night. You are not my first thought anymore when I wake up in the morning. I can already watch a sunset without thinking about how your smile made me feel like living isn’t that bad after all.

But it feels like my feelings are still stuck in between letting go and going back to that same place because I can’t ever seem to be moved.

So tell me, how I can pick up the pieces you left and make myself whole again?Tell me, how I can paint a smile on my face when you were the only reason behind it? Tell me, how I can feel again when you were the one who let me experience how to be happy and sad at the same time. Tell me how I can ever pray for someone again when I know it is just you whom I wanted. Explain to me clearly how can I go on a day without dying to resist to text or call you?

How I wish I mastered the art of attachment so that when I encounter someone like you I won’t be astonished anymore because I will know how to handle it if he decided to walk away again.

I just want someone who will see a glimpse of my tainted soul and choose to be brave enough to plant flowers on it instead of destroying it. I just want someone who will not leave when it dawned on him that what mostly I have ever known in life are sunsets and disappointments. I just want someone who will not make a home out of me and decided that I am a just stopover. I just want someone who won’t run away and won’t be frightened when I utter the words “stay”.

— You are not the sun | Sylvia Marie
Sunday Vinyl...
Posted:Apr 22, 2018 6:04 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2018 12:40 am
Sunday Vinyl...

Closer.........................Nine Inch Nails~ The Downward Spiral
Thorn In My Pride.....Black Crowes ~ The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
Easy............................Faith No More ~Rock Recycling
# 41 ...........................Dave Matthews Band ~ Crash
And So It Goes...........Billy Joel ~Live At Madison Square Garden
Tweeter And The Monkey Man........Traveling Wilburys ~Traveling Wilburys
The Boy In The Bubble...............Paul Simon ~ The Essential Paul Simon
Manic Depression...................Jimi Hendrix ~ Are You Experienced
South Bound Saurez............Led Zepplin ~ In Through The Out Door
Mind over…
Posted:Apr 20, 2018 4:52 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2018 10:25 pm
Mind over…

Then he whispered in my ear. But they weren’t sweet nothings, oh no. His words drove me, opening my mind the way his body was stretching other parts of me, with promise and ideas.

His thighs kept mine closed, elsewhere he stretched and probed and entered slowly at first, faster then, deeper as if trying to reach the center of the earth through my narrowest caves.

His sweat mingled with mine and every syllable he pressed against my ear scratched my senses, more so than the nails on my skin, more penetrating than his body could ever be.

Barely hanging on to my sanity it seemed each thrust of his hard body into me spreading the fire faster and deeper. The burning he caused bordering on discomfort and yet his every word making it the sweetest I had ever felt.

Dry lips, ragged breath, couldn’t speak, his words enough for both of us. His weight crushing and yet he made me fly with every pounding thrust.

His voice a groan then, and still words kept flowing, and so did I, my mind way ahead of my body this time and he kept me there. Lingering. Stuck. Waiting.

Wordlessly, almost crying out for release while my mind was in the middle of an endless orgasm. The more he gave, the more I howled out. Until words were lost to both of us and he pushed us over the edge. Crashing into the ground with an astounding force.

Then he whispered.

©words: cat / be-pleasing-always
On pain, choices, safewords .. and communications
Posted:Apr 19, 2018 4:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2018 10:12 am
On pain, choices, safewords .. and communications

“Do you like pain?” I have been asked more than once here. Well, no I don’t. Not pain for pain’s sake. I'm not a masochist. And trust me, it is entirely possible to be a sub or slave without being a masochist.

But I know pain as a challenge, even as a tool. A tool to learn about myself and a tool to explore the limits of body and mind. That certainly rings true from my personal perspective as a dancer. I may even be familiar with pain as punishment.

But where does it stop? And in D/s, how do we draw the line?

“You will take whatever I give you because I will leave you no choice,” someone wrote about a D/s scene. Well, no. If I have chosen to submit and surrender to someone, then surely it is my choice.

Yet, it’s not quite that simple. Because someone might be pushed past the point where they would have chosen to go, where they can take it.

At the same time, they have chosen to give their partner the right to do what they are doing … I’m sure you get the point.

So what about this pain then. Well, here’s a personal analogy … in struggling to overcome serious injury, I’ve learned to listen to my body and to other people all over again. And to “shout red”, even if I don’t want to. Constantly.

Perhaps I want to persevere, to achieve an objective or indeed that of another, but that doesn’t make it the right decision. It may be my choice to push on, or someone else may believe i can keep going, but what if that causes irreparable damage? What is needed here is communications and complete honesty. And perhaps eventually admitting defeat.

If someone takes a whip or a belt to another person in the context of consensual BDSM, it is their choice, on both sides. But ensuring that no (unwanted) irreparable damage is done also requires an effort from both sides.

And a sub who tries too hard to please, and fails to communicate effectively can come to immeasurable harm. This is their responsibility too. The Dom needs to be able to trust that the signals he is getting are correct, that his sub is being open and honest and calls ‘red' when she needs to.

Likewise, the Dom who fails to listen, or misses the signals or indeed ignores them, can cause irreparable damage.

And then there are of course individual limits. No two people or relationships are the same. What is perfectly acceptable to one person may be well beyond the limits of another. Experience is the answer here.

Somewhere in all of this, someone needs to know exactly how far they can take the other, to stop before true limits are crossed before the damage is irreparable. And believe me, the damage can be immense, both in physical and emotional terms.

So this requires someone to know the other person very well and it takes a lot of time to get there. In D/s there are safe words until that stage is reached and until a stage is reached where perhaps a safe word is no longer needed or wanted. [see note]

Using a safe word helps the sub ensure that no irreparable harm is done, either physically or emotionally, and tells the Dom whether his sub is still able to handle what he’s doing. They serve a very important purpose for both sides.

Likewise, a sub and a Dom communicating in other ways how certain things make them feel. Whether during the 'scene’ itself or after the fact, or during a time-out moment. After all, exploring D/s can sometimes be like learning to listen to our bodies and ourselves and each other all over again on a much deeper level.

And listening and observing and responding and taking into account the results of those communications is essential to learning to trust each other. On both sides.

Let’s not forget that we’re not just talking about physical damage. The emotional devastation of trust and/or communications breaking down in these connections is more often than not also a kind of pain that cannot be put into words.


Please note: There are relationships in the realm of D/s where safe words may be abandoned by mutual consent or are in fact no longer necessary. But no-one should ever be forced or coerced into giving up their right to a safe word.

Just my 2c, I speak only for myself. Other views and flavours are available.

©words: cat / be-pleasing-always
How a Submissive Leads
Posted:Apr 18, 2018 4:35 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 12:12 pm
How a Submissive Leads

A good submissive is often a wonderful leader. It may seem paradoxical. After all, aren’t submissives supposed to follow? The caricature of submissives is a little mouse, quiet except for “yes, Sir” and “thank you, Sir.” But submissives lead in a great many ways.

Submissives lead by example. They lead by showing up every day and honoring their commitment to the dynamic. They lead by showing their Dominant that obedience and service are for always, not just when it’s easy. It takes a lot of strength to kneel when you are tired when you are emotionally struggling when your confidence is shaken. It is easier to withdraw or to take back control, rather than trusting someone else with it. When submissives choose their submission over and over again, this shows faith in a vision for what the dynamic should be. It shows courage and resolves. And with this leadership, submissives inspire leadership in their Dominants with their unrelenting need to follow.

Submissives lead by providing their Dominants opportunities to lead. Sometimes submissives sense that their Dominants need a reminder that they hold the leash. When they are stressed or feeling unsure, sometimes they need to feel their partners’ submission. That connection sustains both sides of the slash. Submissives lead by recognizing when their Dominant needs to connect through power exchange and offering an opportunity to lead. They ask permission. They ask their Dominant to choose for them. They kneel with their Dominant’s favorite implement in hand. But it is up to the submissive sometimes to see the need and act on it.

Submissives lead by helping their Dominants understand their needs. This is not topping from the bottom; it is giving Dominants all the information they need to care for their property. Imagine the Dominant is blindfolded, walking a path with their submissive. The Dominant knows where they want to go. They know if they head directly west, they will reach the perfect little town. But the submissive can see that heading directly west will send them through swamps and rocky terrain. The submissive leads by being the Dominant’s eyes—explaining the obstacles and allowing the Dominant to find a different course that will reach the destination. This is not the same as telling the Dominant where to go, just as sharing your needs is not topping from the bottom.

Once in a D/s relationship, I was struggling with a lack of spankings. I tried telling him I needed a spanking. He’d nod, and then the next time, he’d throw me down and treat me roughly. He made sure I felt owned. But I still needed a spanking. Finally, I laid it out for him. “When I say I need a spanking, I don’t mean I need kink. I don’t mean that we’ve gone too vanilla. I don’t mean that I need you to hurt me. I mean that I need a spanking, and nothing else will do.” This felt decidedly unsubmissive to me. But through his response, I realized that this kind of guidance was the most submissive thing I could do. I showed him how to lead us. Without my leadership, he could not lead.

Submissives lead by serving as a beacon of light. As a submissive, I light the path, and my Dominant leads us down it. I do not decide. But I may shine a light on a decision to be made, so my Dominant can decide. Without a submissive’s leadership, their Dominant is just wandering in the dark. It’s not just that submissives do lead; it’s that they must lead at times for the dynamic to be successful.

“If my Master is lost, I’ll find him. I’ll lead him back to himself because to serve doesn’t always mean to follow.”

―Joey W. Hill
1 comment
Posted:Apr 17, 2018 4:53 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 9:33 pm

There are times when D/s may seem an action-packed affair, filled with sex and sensation, blow jobs and spanking, kinky toys, you name it. And to be sure these are the kind of things people will associate with the dynamic. These are the ‘games’ many crave.

A sub may long to be tied, flogged, shackled, used and degraded and fucked senseless while hanging upside down from the rafters. And then there is this rampant male libido just aching to be satisfied. This Dom who needs to wave his whip around and make use of his submissive’s services in every imaginable way, around the clock.

No matter how hard we try we cannot keep that up 24/7. And it is not what defines a Dom and a sub. There is so much more. And if we are willing to let it, beautiful things can happen by doing absolutely nothing.

Imagine if you will how he lays her down, naked, no restraints, no distractions, nothing but a blank ceiling to stare at. His beautiful work of art. Sits down out of her line of sight and takes her in. Watches listens to her breathing, watches her chest rise and fall. She breathes, eventually stops waiting for something even, slowly her mind goes blank, there is nothing to do, no words, no sounds, there is nothing.

But he is there. And his eyes on her skin, traveling up and down her body, she feels it as a gentle caress perhaps, touching toes and fingers, inch after inch of her skin, touched by nothing but his gaze. His gaze is causing the goosebumps to appear as it travels along her thighs, takes in her belly, her breasts move with her breathing. Perhaps moving a little more rapidly now she feels his eyes cover, claim, possess every inch of her, slowly, but so very sure. She may feel her spine extend in his direction, or a tug at the base, pulled down, grounding her almost. Of course it his mind that makes these things happen, the imperceptible shift in her hips, the way her nipples react to the caress of his gaze, his mind, his will taking possession of every inch of her body. And her mind.

She has let him in and he has taken over. He owns her, all of her holds her in the palm of his proverbial hand. Her every breath and movement are his. And she may even find it hard to move unless he says so. And yet, they have done, are doing nothing. There is no magic here, no tricks. Nothing except a deep connection, a beautiful form, and feeling of domination and submission. By 'doing’ absolutely nothing. This is the power of the mind, his will. It is the strongest tool a Dom has. This is complete control and complete surrender.

And all by doing 'nothing’.

~M. / Her Liege
Playing with Fire...
Posted:Apr 16, 2018 4:04 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2018 8:46 am
Playing with Fire...

“You’re playing with fire, baby,” he growled in my ear.

I smiled against his cheek and wiggled my ass back against his cock, which twitched as his fingers dug into my hip, rewarding my attempts at seduction with his own teasing.

“So is this the wrong time to tell you I’m not wearing panties?” I giggled.

He spun me around so fast it made me dizzy, his eyes wide and dark as he crowded me back against the wall. His hands planted on the wall on either side of my face, his thumbs stroking my cheek, the curve of my throat.

One hand skimmed down the curves of my body, breast to hip, before grabbing a handful of the sequinned dress I wore to the party earlier and tugging it up around my waist. My pussy glistened between my thighs, framed by the thin black garters holding up my stockings.

I looked up at him hesitantly, bit my lip. Would he punish me for being a wanton, wicked dirty girl? He frowned. I was going to be in so, so much trouble.

“You look….edible, pet. And I’m starving.” He licked his lips, slowly, deliberately. Watched me with those hot eyes while his meaning sank in. And then he growled, low in his throat.

So I raised up on tiptoe and bit his lip. And ducked under his arm and ran for the door, as if a few feet of distance would keep me safe from the flash of retribution I saw in his eyes.

His hands tangled in my hair as I reached for the door handle, yanked me back against his unyielding body. He slid an arm around my waist, anchoring me against him as he rubbed his straining cock against the bare skin of my ass.

“Oh pretty little pet,” he rumbled in my ear. “You know what happens when I have to chase you down.” He picked me up as if I were tiny and delicate and tossed me on the bed like a doll, his hands pinning me down before I could do more than attempt to squirm away.

He held me down with the weight of his body and ravaged my mouth while he pulled his belt free of his pants, unfastening them and pushing them hastily down his hips. The belt he wrapped around my wrists, leaving the end dangling like a leash.

“I’d tell you to be a good girl and take your fucking like you deserve,” he whispered. “But I think you know that’s not what I want. It’s not what you want.”

I squirmed desperately beneath the weight of his body pressing me into the bed. I tried to pull my hands-free and, when he controlled that movement a little too easily, I nipped his shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to bring that wild light back into his eyes.

“Yes,” he hissed. “Struggle. Resist. Fight all you like, pet.” He hovered over me, lips just brushing mine. “But you are mine, and I’m going to fuck you.” He pushed inside me then, my pussy wet and burning for him, the force of his thrusts ripping gasps from my lips. “Until I’m through with you.”

I arched up, not sure if I was pushing him away or begging for more. Either way, he gave it to me, fucking the breath from me, until my nails dug into my own skin and my body exploded in pleasure. Only when I was limp and shaking beneath him and begging him to cum inside me did he tear his mouth away from my throat long enough to growl, “Not yet. Not nearly. Not tonight.”

Something to ponder....
Posted:Apr 15, 2018 3:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2018 1:59 pm
Something to ponder....

The city is making you hungry and lonely and restless. And life is short. And shorter here, it seems......... So, here you are.............................. About are a" thinking Dom's sub"

In fact, very few men inspire submission in. you are smart. you are instinctual. you are kind. you are petulant. you are confident. you are insecure. you are capable. you are sensual.
Really. you are intuitive. you are cute. you are sexy. you are imperfect. you have a good sense of style.

you are creative.

you are honest. you are genuine.

Sometimes you like kissing girls.

you are usually restless. you try hard. you procrastinate.

you make a good living.

you are lucky. you would giggle if you were made to call someone, "my Lord".

you are all for "Sir".

you are well read.

you watch too much TV.

you have good manners

and perfect penmanship

you love the "edge' you are willing. you are grinning right now.

you are nasty and graceful.

And ready to look into what else you may be.

I think it's safe to say most Doms would not be disappointed.......... A little about Me. .................................................. I am brilliant

I have that Alpha thing going. I am honest. I am intuitive. I am funny. I am focused. I am strong. Very strong. I am genuine. I have integrity. And the strength of character. And talent. I am good at this. I know how to handle you. I will know when you are trying to control the situation and I won't allow it. I am smarter than you. More intuitive than you are. you won't know what to expect next. you won't be able to write the script. I know a woman's body well. I know "Gor" is a make-believe place. I don't write "W/we". I am tall. I am charismatic. I am irreverent. I don't wear cheap things. I am in control. I am perceptive. I am creative. I am sexy. I am stern. I am gentle. I know the difference between "your" and "you're". I love what I do for a living. I am single. I have passion. I enjoy a woman giving herself over to me in a very deep way. It's my nature. .............................................. What you and I want the stillness and quiet mind that comes when you give up. I want the pleasure that comes when you please. you want me to know it is no "gift" you give. you are doing what you need to. It is no "gift". you want easy silence. And we want easy laughter. you want the loss of control. you want to go past or over or beyond what you imagine the edge to be. you want to feel safe with someone taking you there. you want to trust that someone will bring you back. you want to learn. you want to be pushed. you want to be challenged. you want to be wanted. you want the freedom that comes with complete surrender and submission. you want your submission and surrender to be absolutely genuine and real. you want to respect me. I will make you nervous. Few do. you want to be played with. you want to be used. you want to be bound. you want to give what I want. Or you want me to take it if that's what I want. you want to be completely uninhibited and you want to feel what that's like. you want to be accepted after that. you want that small smile to cross your lips the next day when you think of what happened the night before. you want that heat that comes from your passion and surrender and my passion and control. you want to be devoured and ripped apart. And seen. And then you want to want to stay. And you want to stay looking at the person who did it. Then you might want pancakes. you want the chemistry And you want the real deal. And you want the truth
I want to marry the darkest parts of you.
Posted:Apr 14, 2018 3:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2018 3:26 am
I want to marry the darkest parts of you.

I want the darkness in me to kiss the darkness inside of you so it can sleep soundly within both of us. I want the light inside of you to dance with the light inside of me. We’ll call it a cha cha.

I want to not be in love with pieces of you but to be in love with every.single.piece. You are loved beyond measure.

even on the days when the darkness inside of me burns so brightly, I can’t dance, I want you to know your light is the only light I see. Your light illuminates me.

— Sydnie Belmont

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