HEARTWORK
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Posted:Mar 23, 2022 3:51 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2023 4:45 am 2878 Views
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Image Taken By: Me
Each day is born with a sunrise and ends in a sunset, the same way we open our eyes to see the light, and close them to hear the dark. You have no control over how your story begins or ends. But by now, you should know that All things have an ending. Every spark returns to darkness. Every sound returns to silence. And every flower returns to sleep with the earth. The journey of the sun and moon is predictable. But yours, is your ultimate ART.” ― Suzy Kassem
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Am I submissive?
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Posted:Mar 21, 2022 3:23 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2023 12:40 am 3390 Views
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Most of us have been there. You have those moments at 2 am, lying in bed unable to get that nagging feeling out of your head that something huge is missing. And you tell yourself you’re being stupid, that you’ll shake it off and get back to being satisfied.
But those misfires keep occurring, triggered by interactions with people that don’t quite seem to handle you correctly and it’s like living with sandpaper for clothes - but it’s just you being weird, right? Got to be. You’ll get back to normal soon.
Maybe you look at your partner and the way they slouch on the sofa, mentally switched off for the night, tired from work. You momentarily have a fantasy about them getting up, telling you to “bend the fuck over” as they yank your bottoms off and take what they want, whatever that is. But it’s silly, right? You don’t need that.
It starts getting harder to ignore as you have fucked once again with the lights off, the same way as always; passion absent - intensity unreachable. You have obligatory sex to somehow prove you’re a happy couple. No talking before, during or after. And yet, long after they are asleep - you find yourself thinking about why it is that you wish they would make it hurt a little bit. You go over it obsessively and find that grain of curiosity more stimulating than the minutes of intercourse you recently spent having. Hard not to question what makes you want that, difficult to deny the fact that you feel depressed at the thought of another episode of mediocre sex. Because it has felt more and more like aided masturbation than anything close to being sexually intoxicated by one another. But that’s not realistic, is it? It’s in books but it’s not real. It can’t be.
Can it?
I think it starts off small, a little echo maybe, easily dismissed. But it always gets louder. Gets unbearable until it is a klaxon going off constantly - a persistent reminder of how desperately unfulfilled you feel in that deep dark place you hide from everyone. Why is it that admitting all those things you want is the hardest thing of all?
Suddenly looking in the mirror isn’t so simple anymore - because the person staring back is ‘one of those kinds. You know - the sort that gets aroused by *ape scenes on TV and daydreams about being strapped to a table and called degrading things whilst being forced to do things they don’t want to. You’re the kind that wants to be a human footstool or use crayons to draw a picture for someone who will get why you sometimes need to feel small.
And it only takes one individual into the foreground, someone that you find your heart beats faster for. Someone that has you behaving like a service junkie - you want to do things for them, want to tie their laces, and then lick the worn leather toe box of their boots. You want to be dominated by them, have your skin under their fingernails along with your desperation and promises. You fantasize about screaming for them, crying for them, hurting for them.
You dream about asking for permission to eat, sleep, touch, work, orgasm, leave, drive, spend. It stretches on and on.
And at some point, you’re finally kneeling in front of another person like some kind of servant and the gravity of the situation makes it feel like you might be getting altitude sickness. Suddenly you’re a million miles away from thinking about how to suppress the need to be subjugated - instead, you’re lurching violently towards it, running full pelt and hoping for blisters.
For the first time in your life, you are saturated in intimacy and soaked in satisfaction.
So, if a friend asked me; “How do I know if I am submissive?”
I’d probably say; “How loud is the desire?”
~enslavedwhore
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Sunday Sway
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Posted:Mar 20, 2022 4:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2022 7:40 am 3382 Views
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* King Of Pain ~ The Police ~ Synchronicity * No Woman No Cry ~ The Fugees ~ The Score * The Boy In The Bubble ~ Paul Simon ~ The Essential Paul Simon * It's Like That ~ RUN DMC ~ RUN DMC * Sweetness Follows ~ REM ~ Vanilla Sky Soundtrack * Maybe Tomorrow ~ Stereophonics ~ You Gotta Go There To Come Back * Don't Tell Me~ Madonna ~Music * When The Music's Over ~ The Doors ~ Strange Days * Sunday Morning ~ Maroon 5 ~ Songs About Jane * Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing ~ Chris Issak ~ Forever Blue
Don't Tell Me ~ Madonna
Don't tell me to stop Tell the rain not to drop Tell the wind not to blow 'Cause you said so
Tell the sun not to shine Not to get up this time, no, no Let it fall by the way But don't leave me where I lay down
Tell me love isn't true It's just something that we do Tell me everything I'm not But please don't tell me to stop
Tell the leaves not to turn But don't ever tell me I'll learn, no, no Take the black off a crow But don't tell me I have to go
Tell the bed not to lay Like the open mouth of a grave, yeah Not to stare up at me Like a calf down on its knees
Tell me love isn't true It's just something that we do Tell me everything I'm not But don't ever tell me to stop
(Don't you ever tell) Tell me love isn't true It's just something that we do (Don't you ever tell) Tell me everything I'm not But don't ever tell me to stop
(Don't you ever) Please don't Please don't Please don't tell me to stop
(Don't you ever tell me) Don't you ever Don't ever tell me to stop
(Tell the rain not to drop) Tell the bed not to lay Like an open mouth of a grave, yeah Not to stare up at me Like a calf down on its knees
(Like an open mouth of a grave, yeah Not to stare up at me)
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Saturday Morning Ramblings....
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Posted:Mar 19, 2022 6:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2022 4:27 am 3409 Views
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I’ve only met a handful of people in my life that I can actually be myself around and not feel like I’m putting on a show. Like, I can be completely honest down to my core and not worry about them thinking differently about me or liking me less. And I can’t explain it but it takes a certain type of person for me to feel this way with and a connection like that is so rare that when you find it, it’s really easy to mistake it for love. And sometimes it is or it can be, but not always. Those people are special but it doesn’t always have to be love. And that’s why there are certain people that I always want in my life, in some capacity, I’m just not sure what capacity that is. I just know that I can’t give up that connection. And it might be a matter of having a lot in common or similar senses of humor or caring about the same things, but it’s deeper than that too. I think it’s that we think a similar way and our feelings are somehow connected and the way we express or react or make assumptions about things and the motivators that cause us to act are all aligned. I don’t know, but I know it’s something more than surface deep. There are certain people that are just on different levels with you than everyone else. And you hold on to those people.
~M
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The Source Of Her Power
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Posted:Mar 18, 2022 5:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2022 3:04 am 3552 Views
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She had a fire in her veins. Roaring and fierce. That’s how she lived her life. With her heart on her sleeve, chest held high, and the willingness to go toe to toe with anyone. She was admired, feared, and even hated by some. And that was perfectly fine with her. Everyone was fair game and she never backed down. Her life was her own when she was outgoing to battle with the world. But that was not all she was.
There was another side to her. Hidden and protected. Sacred. Not many had ever known it and not many ever would. It was a place of service and deference. Of giving in and given over. That’s where she went after the world became just that little bit too intense. When the hustle and bustle took over too much of her. Her place for a quiet and calm mind. For her submission. For him.
She offered herself in ways that, to many in this harsh, judgmental world, would seem impossible, even ludicrous. A woman of such stature and radiating power surely could never give it all up. And yet, that was precisely what she did. What she craved. Ultimately, what she couldn’t live without. She gave all of herself. Her flesh was his to control, her mind his to command, her heart his to nurture.
She gave herself that way because he asked her. He expected it. He demanded it because he had earned it. As with all aspects of her life, she gave nothing unwillingly. It only happened because she decided it would be that way. With him, the decision had been easy. It had been natural. It felt in a way like the fulfillment of a predetermined destiny.
She relinquished it all because the balance and peace she received from it fueled the drive and determination in her. It gave her that power so feared outside of her protected walls. It made her who she was. Multilayered. Complex. Invincible. It made her one hell of a woman.
Copyright © Dirty Romantic - Tales of Love, Lust & Loss
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6
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Responsibility
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Posted:Mar 17, 2022 2:32 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2023 10:14 am 3883 Views
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For many years I would say “it’s my job/role/function as a Dominant to do X,” until a dear friend set me straight recently: “The word you’re looking for is Responsibility.” It was one of those moments where so many things fell neatly into place by simply finding the right word. And what a powerful word it is, a word with iron in it, but sadly a word that does not receive nearly the attention it deserves in the D/s world. There is an entire generation of Dominants (and their Submissives) who do not understand the deep and serious implications of that simple word, “Responsibility.”
I think a lot of this can be attributed (not just online but in the D/s world at large) to the strong focus on the Submissive. In many respects, the D/s world shares the mindset so common in porn films: “It’s all about the girl.” The strong focus on the Submissive — her needs, her heart, her act of submission itself — is a good and right thing; new Submissives of all ages need the context and the information in order to make intelligent, informed decisions about their nature and activities. But the implicit (and all too often, explicit) assumption is that the Dominant somehow magically “just knows” what’s expected of him. The Dominant is self-sufficient, wise, Olympian, and unerring in his understanding of who and what he is, and how to treat his Submissive. Dominants are the archetypal lone wolf; indeed, “Wolf” as a synonym for “Dominant” was a word already sanctified by long use back when I first entered the lifestyle decades ago. Dominants do not need advice, they do not need guidance, they do not need to even think very much about how D/s works. A Dominant simply accepts the submission of his Submissive and that’s the end of it.
It’s all a lie.
Because the one thing that never gets talked about — Responsibility — is a deep, unconditional, and abiding thing, the thing that, more than anything else, is at the very heart of what it means to be a Dominant. A Dominant who doesn’t feel the truth of this deep in his bones is a very dangerous man who can do so much damage (emotional, psychological, and physical) to someone who offers him the gift of unconditional submission. Responsibility is the thing that is owed to the Submissive, the moderating and protective influence in the D/s power exchange. When a Submissive offers the gift of her submission to a Dominant, she is saying in effect: “I am putting myself, my body, my soul, and the burden of my freedom, into your hands. In return, I expect you to protect me, guide me, direct me, comfort me, protect me, and above all respect and cherish me.” This is the heart of Responsibility, and the “burden” the Dominant shoulders and carries; sometimes with enormous effort and strength of will, but always with proper mindfulness that Responsibility is, in effect, his reason for existence.
Dominants can act irresponsibly in so many ways, most often without even being aware of it. This makes them dangerous ….
If you are only present for your Submissive when times are good, then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you are expecting a quid pro quo — if you expect anything from your Submissive except for her submission for all the work you put in stepping up to your Responsibility — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you think it’s only about your sexual responsibilities — maintenance discipline and the like — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If you think that your responsibility only extends to the big, dramatic things — if you do not understand that being present for your Submissive after a rough day at the office is every bit as important as providing her with discipline and orgasms — then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
If Responsibility feels like a burden rather than the ultimate expression of your bone-deep need to protect and guide and cherish your Submissive, then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
Above all, if you think that being a Dominant is something you DO rather than something you ARE, then you do not understand your Responsibility and you are a danger to your lady.
But if you understand that Responsibility is at the core of your love for your Submissive and that Responsibility permeates every aspect of your being together, then I can promise you this: you will feel a quiet joy and sense of loving satisfaction in being the “responsible adult” that is a feeling like no other.
~instructor144
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12
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it's called power exchange for a reason
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Posted:Mar 16, 2022 3:05 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2024 3:25 am 3989 Views
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Here's the thing, right? If we looked at a vanilla relationship where one person was putting in a tremendous amount of effort and was always doing things for their partner and was always going that extra mile but there seemed to be no reciprocation - we'd think that was fucked up.
We'd talk about how the partner putting in all that effort was being taken advantage of, was unappreciated, was not valuing themselves enough...
We'd fail to grasp what made the relationship worth it.
And, let's be honest, there are a lot of D/s and power exchange dynamic relationships that can look like that from the outside - you know, to an unassuming eye.
If you identify as a slave or a service submissive (or something else entirely) who gets pleasure and joy, etc. out of serving then people on the outside may look at your dynamic and think it's unfair.
They may think you're being taken advantage of.
They may think you need to learn how to stand up for yourself.
They may think you're subservient, weak, a doormat...
But what we know - that these outside, unassuming, unknowing people don't - is that a power exchange goes both ways.
Or at least it's meant to.
That's why we call it an exchange, right? Some people even go so far as to write up and sign a contract.
Exchange of goods, exchange of services...
No relationship should ever be one-sided but, I'd like to think, a D/s relationship least of all.
So many people I talk to and follow and stalk the writing of like to trumpet D/s practitioners (God, that sounds pretentious - but for lack of a better phrase, we'll go with it) as being exceptional communicators. There's a lot of talk about how because what we do can be dangerous in a lot of ways, can involve giving up parts of yourself, can involve edge play - that we need to be stronger communicators, better communicators, all-the-fucking-time communicators.
And I'd like to think there's at least a little bit of truth to that.
A friend of mine always used to say that if you can put your guy's dick in your mouth then you should be able to talk to him about your problems. I like to extrapolate from that and say that if you're going to let someone beat you black and blue you sure as hell better be able to talk to them first, during, after.
But I digress.
A D/s relationship shouldn't be one-sided because there should be a concrete understanding of what both sides of the slash are getting. A power exchange should, to my mind, be just that - an exchange.
It doesn't even have to be equal - you know, if that's not your thing - but it should certainly not fall entirely to one party to hold up the dynamic and keep it going.
I am a sub. I identity as a sub. I don't identify as a service submissive - but there are aspects of service submission that greatly appeal to me and that, when done for Daddy, bring me great joy.
I've never felt that way for another person.
I give. I give a lot. I give so much that sometimes it threatens to drag me down. I do that to myself. I do. I know I do. I always have.
Boundaries are important. Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves so we don't get dragged under.
And I've gotten better at those.
But for the right person? I'd give and give and give and give - and keep on giving without even realizing it.
Sometimes it sneaks up on me.
I've been in power exchange relationships where things were completely one-sided. Where I didn't know yet how to set boundaries and where I thought that giving to extremes was the way to show I cared. Where the other person wanted to take advantage of that - knew they could take advantage of that - and did.
So, I know better than some that a power exchange dynamic should be an exchange. If you're going to give and give - if your relationship is going to be structured so that you give and give - then, to my mind, you should be getting things back. The other person on the other side of the slash should be giving things too. I've learned, both as a sub and as a giver, that it's okay to want things from my partner in a power exchange dynamic. It's okay to ask for things from him. It's okay to expect things from him. Hell, occasionally, it's even okay to demand things from him.
I give. I give a lot. I'm allowed to ask for things in return.
I want structure. I want rules. I want to be held accountable. I want to come up with a mutually agreed-upon set of rules that help to achieve goals that I've set for myself and that my partner and I have set for each other and then, you know, be held to them. I want punishment. I want commands and directives.
I want things.
It's not that I can't decide things for myself. It's not that I can't pick my own underwear or determine how much Diet Coke is too much or decide when to go to bed. It's just that I like it better when I do it for him. I like it better when he's guiding me.
I am a smart and capable individual who can live life on my own. But I choose not to.
I give - and give and give and give - to make his life easier. But it's his job to make my life easier too. It's his job to take the thinking out of some of those things that maybe I drag my feet on if I'm left to my own devices.
Because that's the exchange we've agreed to. That's what we've agreed to give one another. So, I'll make his bed (hate it), I'll tie his shoes (love it), I'll cook for him (!!!) and clean for him (ugh) and give up control of my orgasms for him and suck his dick whenever he tells me to. Because he told me he'd take care of me. Because he wants to give me rules. Because he promised to give me pleasure. Because he promised to hold me accountable.
Because these are (just some of) the things we've agreed to give one another.
It's called power exchange for a reason.
Just food for thought.
~dirtylittlebookworm
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A note about CONSENT
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Posted:Mar 15, 2022 6:56 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2022 4:21 am 4170 Views
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Consent is: permission granted. Agreement. Educated understanding and continuous enthusiastic participation.
Consent is: yes, please, and thank you. I want this.
Consent is: organic, fluid, and subject to change.
Consent can be withdrawn at any point. And if it is, any and all actions must cease with all haste immediately.
*Continuing once consent has been withdrawn is a consent violation*
*Using guilt/pressure/intimidation to attempt to make someone continue doing/allowing something that they no longer wish to is a consent violation*
*Using guilt or any form of manipulation to get someone to do something that they are not 100% sure of is a consent violation*
And the line between decent human being and abusive twatwaffle has been crossed. Don’t be that fuckwit - if someone says no - in any way shape form size or color - even if they’d previously said yes, stop whatever the fuck you are doing - no matter what it is immediately and absofuckinglutely do not attempt to force or coerce continuation. Just stop and do what needs to be done to ensure comfort and safety.
And remember: consent, the withdrawal thereof, and how to deal with it applies to every single thing in life, not just fuckery.
TTFN 🐾 Shiny
~itsshinycollectordestinyworld
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Confidence
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Posted:Mar 14, 2022 3:27 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2024 4:51 am 4031 Views
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But then I learned something important about men, something that almost without fail was always true: men love a naked woman, but more than that, they love confident naked women. Now, everyone has a type of course…. but a woman who loves her body and knows what she wants? There’s nothing sexier than that.”
— Cream of the Crop
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