Life Is Short
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Posted:Dec 20, 2022 2:40 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2022 12:21 am 11241 Views
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It is an ironic and cruel joke that as we figure out who we are, as we find our people, as we become more secure in ourselves and them, we also become closer to death.
I am a submissive, and sometimes it feels like time will run out before I know fully what that means.
So much of what we are is about hope and drive, even if what we are hoping for and driving toward never happens.
The point is the journey, not the destination.
So every second is a call to action. To take care of our minds and bodies and hearts so that we can prolong it. To be and do as much as we can in the short time we have. To love fiercely and deeply. To be good to other people and help them along in their journey too.
To change the world into a better, kinder, more equitable place. Because regardless of what anyone says or does, this world belongs to all of us… and we belong in it.
To learn from our mistakes, and try to cause as little harm to others as possible. To figure out who we are so that we can be them, and to remember that who we are isn’t stagnant, so the change shouldn’t stop until the end.
I do not believe in the afterlife, at least not the kind where I continue to be me. So I think we need to make this life matter because it is all we’ve got.
To grow and help others grow. That is how I make my life matter.
Life is short.
Make the most of it. For yourself AND others.
~goodgirlsdoresearch
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8
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~December
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Posted:Dec 18, 2022 9:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2022 7:19 am 12300 Views
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~Photo By: Me
Full Moon: December 2021
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16
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~Saturday Sway
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Posted:Dec 17, 2022 2:45 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 10:33 pm 11538 Views
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* Vehicle ~ The Ides Of March ~ Vehicle
* Ordinary World ~ Duran Duran ~ Duran Duran
* Love Is A Losing Game ~ Amy Winehouse ~ Back To Black
* Bookends Theme ~ Simon & Garfunkel ~ Bookends
* That's How Strong My Love Is ~ Otis Redding ~ Otis Blue
* These Days ~ Foo Fighters ~ Wasting Light
* The Song Is Over ~ The Who ~ Who's Next
* The Rain Song ~ Led Zepplin ~ Houses Of The Holy
* Memories ~ Maroon 5 ~ JORDI ~
* It Was A Very Good Year ~ Frank Sinatra ~ September Of My Years
~Love Is A Losing Game ~ Amy Winehouse
For you, I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five-story fire as you came
Love is a losing game
One I wished, I never played
, what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game
Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand
Self-professed, profound
'til the chips were down.
Know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand
Though I battle blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love, it is a fate resigned
Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game
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5
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D/s Is A Bright Light On A Dark Night
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Posted:Dec 15, 2022 9:43 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 2:11 am 11741 Views
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The D/S lifestyle is often viewed as dark and when exploring many people who identify on the d side of the slash love to discuss rules and even predetermined punishments for violations which adds up to a negative vibe that can permeate everything BDSM on top of the lifestyle being seen as some sort of dark art by many in the vanilla world. Thankfully, the lifestyle is not dark, dank, or a negative place
plus positivity in the community and relationships create positive outcomes. So here are ten uplifting items dominants can do to help a submissive achieve bright, inspiring achievements.
1- When your submissive has been dealt a few lemons in their day, work to inspire them to see the lemons as a chance to make amazing lemonade. When things happen in life, remind your partner (and yourself) that you can only control certain things in life, to do your best and if the outcome is not an ideal one, then learn the lessons it can teach but keep the momentum moving forward. Life is not always filled with winning outcomes and a d-type can help their partner see challenging situations as a chance to learn rather than a reason to give up.
2- All of us are wired so that a negative experience can quash all of the good that happened leading up to that unfavorable event and leave us moping after as well. When a dominant sees that their submissive is having some of their positivity squeezed out of them by the day, have them share five things they are grateful for, with the d-type keeping a list so they can challenge their s-type to think of new things rather than giving the same answers. This may seem hokey but when we are grateful, we are happier.
3- Work with your submissive so they get better at rejection. We often think of rejection as related to romantic relationships but it is so much more than that because it can be things such as having an idea shot down at work, a bad job interview, or getting overruled on what restaurant to dine at. Rejection is something that on some level all of us ‘fear’ but learning to manage that fear will allow for growth and inspire your partner to take on new challenges. Something to think about, Miguel Cabrera, of the Detroit Tigers, is the most successful baseball player at hitting who is currently playing, yet he fails 68% of the time.
4- “Houston we have a problem.” Part of being your partner’s dominant is that you are the relationship’s leader and being in that role requires fixing problems/issues when they happen. When a d-type notices something that needs to be addressed, do not just indicate that there is a problem. Consider not sharing that there is a problem and instead offer ideas and solutions to fix the problem without the s-type even knowing their d-type had sensed one.
5- This is a little thing but it makes a huge difference. Take the time to think before you speak and when you do speak, ditch those dirty words. No fucker, I am not talking about profanity but those even nastier words, negative ones. Replace negative words with positive ones and both of you will positively see the difference.
6- When your submissive is having ‘one of those days’ remind them to take a break and create a moment for themselves. If you sense your partner feels like the world is closing in, remind them to take a minute to catch their breath. It does not have to be a prescribed length and can be a simple reminder to have them close their eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale stress.
7- Swap out the words I have to with I get to. Once again, this sounds simple but the effect is unique and it changes how you see the world. Rather than “I have to go to work”, it becomes “I get to go to work”. Just that simple word replacement is a reminder of how lucky you are to be able to work. This simple trick can and will change your outlook.
8- Put the damn phone away. Social media brings a lot of great things but there is also a poop ton of negativity there. From negative news, people ranting that they have been done wrong and people sharing sad stories all of it can bring you down, so create a night or even a weekend where you create a safe place for your submissive to have fun, be happy, and the ‘dumbphone’ goes away. Trust me, we can all survive without social media for twenty-four hours and you will be delighted.
9- No matter how awesome we are at avoiding drama, it seems that someone is always ready to pounce trying to bring drama into our lives. Something as simple as complaining will lower our mood and bring us down. A dominant needs to work with their partner to avoid being trapped in other people’s messes or to help them escape a sinkhole of negativity.
10- It all starts with a smile because a smile will make others smile. If a dominant wants to see their submissive smile more and frown less, then they can look in the mirror because it will start with them. The more a d-type smiles, the infection of smiles will be passed on to their submissive. Remember to smile and pass it on.
While this little list, was intended for ways that a dominant can inspire success through positivity, the ideas are all things that anyone can do not just exclusive to being dominant or being in a relationship. These are all things we can do as individuals to make each day a tremendous triumph.
Is there an idea you would add to this list?
©TLK2022
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15
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~Mythology (Poem)
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Posted:Dec 15, 2022 6:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 2:05 am 11284 Views
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She holds her hair up with only
two chopsticks and a bobby pin.
Think Atlas. Think shoulders.
When your sadness starts to feast,
she carries the light down from the
mountain and hands it to you,
tells you to set it on fire.
Think Prometheus. Think savior.
On Sunday, she steps out of the shower
and you don’t think you’ve ever seen
anything more beautiful than the way
she walks towards you with a towel
on her head, water clinging to her
like there is nowhere else it would rather be.
Think Aphrodite. Think sea foam.
You love her like mythology.
You love her like the impossible stories
of Gods and monsters.
When she sings, think fairies.
Think mermaids. Think hymns.
She is the face of the river
that Narcissus fell in love with,
confusing hers for his own.
She is Medusa’s fury,
Athena’s strength,
Achelois’ healing.
You are kissing her in a crowded
restaurant and it feels like praying.
You are watching her
instead of the meteor shower
and you don’t even notice.
~ Caitlyn Siehl from What We Buried
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7
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Nice Guys Finish Last
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Posted:Dec 14, 2022 2:04 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 2:04 am 11139 Views
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Nice guys finish last,” is an age-old truism that we’ve all heard at one point or another in our lives. But is it actually true? Don’t women want a man to treat them with respect, and dignity, and to value them equally? Don’t we as feminists (and yes, I use the inclusive term ‘we’ because I consider myself to be one) demand these things? Don’t we desire to move away from the days when Neanderthals and chauvinists were allowed to run rampant and when women had to suffer constant sexual harassment as a matter of course in the workplace?
Of course, we do, few things could be more self-evident than that.
So shouldn’t we be raising men to be ‘gentlemen,’ to be respectful, and to treat women as equals? Shouldn’t men who strive to be kind, gentle, giving, and considerate be ideal mates? And haven’t I, on this very blog extolled the virtues of the man who is hardworking, respectful, educated, and a good communicator?
Why yes, I have.
I mean, if that’s what women want, why wouldn’t good guys finish first all the time? As it turns out, they do. Overwhelmingly women seek mates who treat them as equals, with dignity and respect. They seek men who are faithful in their marriage and honest. So, the end of the post?
Not quite.
You see, for as much as women desire men who are all of the above for life mates, they seek something very, very different from their sexual partners. Ask any relationship therapist or clinical psychologist on the planet and they’ll tell you the same thing: women love their spouses deeply and sincerely – and they are (overwhelmingly) utterly unattracted to them sexually.
As it turns out, the scientific study of female sexuality is an extraordinarily complex subject. Stunning, I know. Professor Lorraine Dinnerstein of the University of Melbourne determined that the loss of a woman’s libido as she ages is closely linked to a loss of interest in her sexual partner. Put another way: they desire sexlessness because they desire their partner less. Those same women consistently reported that they deeply loved and admired their partners.
So what gives?
Dr. Marta Meana, who is a clinical psychologist, Dean of the University of Nevada’s Psychology department, and widely respected researcher into women’s sexual functionality (and possibly more qualified to write about this subject than me), surmises that what drives female sexuality, above all else, is something that could be summed up best Cheap Trick’s 78 hit, “I want you to want me”: WOMEN PASSIONATELY DESIRE TO BE DESIRED.
That same soft, gentleman (not a gentleman) who she loves and feels secure around: the one who asks permission for everything, and is constantly obsessed with asking, “are you sure you’re ok,” that guy is safe, but he is not sexy. Sexually, a woman does not fantasize about being delicately considered, she wants to be passionately desired, chased, and pursued, she wants to be the object of a man's unbridled lust – she wants to be conquered.
The real female orgasm? Being desired.
Now men, if you’ve ever read a harlequin novel (or watched an episode of True Blood), step back and ask yourself if that is not precisely the caricature that comes to mind. The strong, decisive, passionate, slightly dangerous, and lustful man. It’s almost comical how obvious the correlation is. Yet that same man who appeals to a woman’s lustful side isn’t necessarily the one who appeals to her desire for safety and comfort in a relationship.
And that’s the rub men: It will be your passion that brings her in, and it will be your security that holds her attention, but in order to develop her into that wanton slut you desire, who continues to explore with you, and to grow in her submission, you must first provide the platform for her to build on.
You must be the foundation, the rock upon which her temple to you is built. Education, practice, communication, discipline, dedication, decisiveness, love, passion, and accountability: These are your tools. You must be ever vigilant to maintain your passion for her. To constantly reaffirm her place in your sexual desires with action and inventiveness; to constantly reaffirm your commitment to her soul with strong communication; her mind with leadership; her heart with consistent love, unending patience, and understanding; and to your relationship with stern discipline.
Committing your life to these principles and their practice is what will ultimately separate you from the cuckold husband, or the douche-bag Wanna-Be Doms. You must be both the lion, and lover. Do these things well, and her submission will blossom, fail and it will wither.
The choice ultimately is yours. Choose wisely.
~ Axiom
***Archive
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7
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What’s In A Number?
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Posted:Dec 13, 2022 3:03 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 12:20 am 10663 Views
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Recently someone asks me if sex in my 50s was the same as sex at 20. The question itself made me smile as if I was some wise old shaman who the unenlightened scaled sheer cliffs to question and, in turn, gain the wisdom of the ages.
But back to the question. In essence, what the OP wanted to know was “does sex get better or worse with age.” Such a simple question on the surface. Kind of like what it means to be submissive. Yeah. There are no simple answers to either of those questions. Trust me.
The act of sex itself has not changed since I was 20 years old. At least I am not aware of any changes and I do attempt to stay up-to-date. (My work ethic in play.) However, what I am both able to participate in within the physical acts and, more importantly, what I find most enjoyable have changed quite a bit in three and a half decades. My limbs no longer appreciate being held in awkward poses (with or without the assistance of bondage aids) for long periods of time and will now repay my erotic enthusiasm with pulled muscles and stabbing pains. On the other hand, I’ve learned to do things with my tongue that 20-year-old would never have attempted, much less enjoyed.
And let us not forget that sex is only partly about the physical act, in the first place. Age, and thus experience, help us understand the true role of emotional connections without which truly amazing sex cannot occur. At 20, I was more about running my hands and mouth over a firm body. At 55, I am more interested in knowing what makes the mind of my man tick. And that knowledge when used properly gives me the ability to offer him more fulfilling erotic experiences than a mere hot tongue can ever achieve on its own.
By the way, this idea is the same in every facet of your life as you age. With time and experience, you change. This is not meant to mean that you are withering away and just can’t do the stuff you did as a . Trust me. If I WANT to slip my butt onto a piece of cardboard and slide down a hill screaming and laughing, I’m going to do it. If I WANT to pick up a 20-ish bodybuilder at a beach bar kissing contest and take him to the hotel for a one-night stand, I will. The difference is that now I realize it’s my choice. All of it. And with choices come consequences – some awesome enough to write stories about and some you’d love to wipe from your memories forever. Knowing enough to match consequences to actions BEFORE I do them is the beauty of age and experience. Not caring about them because you have a lifetime to get over it is the beauty of youth.
Be who you are. Revel in the glory of your experience – vast or shallow still. Live for the day whether you are 20 or 80. As long as it’s SSC (and your muscles allow it), the world is yours for exploring.
In the end, we only live once. But if we do it right, once is enough. *winks*
thegingerpowers~
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9
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The Search...
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Posted:Dec 12, 2022 2:59 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2022 2:58 am 10584 Views
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“She was no helpless female – never had been. She was death clothed in a body of female allure and fiercely proud of it.
But in sex, she needed the surrender. She craved a man strong enough to take control out of her hands. She hungered to be dominated, by someone who didn't see her as a ball-busting female. She would yield everything to a man masterful enough to command her obedience. But she had never found one strong enough – or discreet enough. Most of all, she had never found anyone she could trust with her desires who didn’t try to crush her– body and soul. Disappointment had followed disappointment until she had quit looking. To find strength paired with sensitivity, or dominance tempered with love? It didn’t seem to exist.”
― Patricia A. Knight
*Archive
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13
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Waiting
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Posted:Dec 11, 2022 5:15 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2022 2:04 am 8434 Views
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Perhaps it is the simple act of waiting, or the brush of air that is to blame for the goosebumps, the slight shiver, that strange meltdown that begins in your head.
Time passes and this is surely the reason for the tremble in your thighs. The almost imperceptible straightening of your back, because of the time passing.
The arching in your hips, that shift, almost unnoticed, certainly involuntary. Feels almost like your ass is rising too. Because… well you don’t know anymore because your head is melting down.
Why your nipples would rise and your breasts would swell, you couldn’t possibly say. But they just did. And now you’re chewing your lip, which you hate.
Every part of your body is so alive, and yet nothing is happening. Though your fingers are grasping at air and your toes seem to be curling for no apparent reason.
And this simple act of waiting doesn’t stop there, it seems to be traveling through you and causing a clenching in your core, heat throbbing between your legs.
Every part of you is now ripe and ready because you were waiting. Every part of you presented, just the way he likes it. Waiting.
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©words: cat / be-pleasing-always
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15
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~Art Break
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Posted:Dec 9, 2022 8:30 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2022 10:57 am 8741 Views
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Artist: Unknown
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19
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