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Sweet Dreams
Posted:Mar 23, 2017 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2017 2:35 pm

Sleep still so elusive at night, but today was able to take a nap, my notebook next to me, ready to write should some epiphany, significant thought come to me to help me discover..

As I was drifting off, in that sweet place, asleep enough that waking would be difficult.. the sweetest thoughts started running through my mind.. I tend to sleep sort of on my right side and sort of on my belly. This afternoon, I could almost feel him, curled around me, ass to lap, his hand protectively cradling my breast, to hooked over ankle just so.. almost feel his breath on my neck..

Drifting deeper into the dream, I felt his hand leave my breast.. seemed to be morning and as his arm moved down my side, pulling the sheet gently with it.. in the dream I was on the verge of waking.. just almost.. then his hand was behind my knee... oh so slowly.. I could see he was trying not to wake me too early as he gently moved that knee up to my shoulder, easing me further on my belly.. I could feel his hardness against my leg and felt it stiffen more as the motion of my leg exposed the warm center he was seeking.. in my dream, I was awake, but remained still.. my nipples hardening with excitement.. my mind exploding with thoughts of what he might do to me.. He shifted himself upwards, his cock now resting against my ass.. not quite pressing against, but teasing my asshole.. almost not touching it.. as he eased further.. it occurred to me that he meant to claim me anally, before I was fully awake.. no lube save the sleep sweat that had gathered.. time stopped, I was now fully awake and struggling to remain relaxed.. my beautiful, worthy Dom should meet no resistance.. little by little more pressure.. stretching me so gently I almost didn't feel it.. then the thickest part of the head and no matter how relaxed I tried to be.. sweet, hot, exquisite pain.. I could no longer be still, just as he started to push forward more I pushed back taking all of him in one stroke.. his full heavy balls at the top of my inner thigh, he pushed one more time.. ensuring that he was fully inside and stopped. One hand came up to pinch the one nipple that I wasn't laying on, the other to my hair, turning my head so that I could see him.. Such joy, he was smiling.. he leaned down, full weight on my and bit my ear.. and whispered "I am so pleased, it was so good of you to not push me away in your sleep and now I am going to fuck you hard".

Straightening himself, his hand still in my hair, holding me down, positioned so that his strokes would be long and full, his weight was removed from me and his maleness was buried even deeper in me.. I was really hurting.. no lube and the sudden push.. happily hurting.. He started.. pulling almost out then ramming back in.. I wanted to scream with passion and pain.. over and over.. steady, even, long hard thrusts.. as deep as he could go, then almost out again.. I could not move, his leverage on me, the bed beneath me, his hand in my hair had me pinned.. I could not pull away nor push into his strokes.. Then that tell tale sign.. more pain, he was swelling up, his body tensing.. throbbing pulses of his essence shooting into me... my own orgasm causing me to tense and release around him and each tensing caused more mind blowing pain, causing the orgasm to intensify and expand.. as he softened and pulled out, he told me not to move.. and left the room.. Doing as I was told, my asshole aching, still shaking from the aftershocks of the amazing orgasm and the impact of this wonderful Dominant male on me.. He returned with a warm damp cloth, ever so gently he cleaned my thighs and my aching asshole, slipping a finger in bringing me more orgasms from the now gentle pain..

Standing up, he pinched that nipple again.. he slapped my butt hard, but not mean and said.. You fix breakfast, I am going to shower and after we eat I will clean up the dishes..

Yeah.. if I could wake like that every morning, I would have no trouble getting to sleep at night.
1 comment
Warmth and Light
Posted:Mar 23, 2017 7:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 2:49 pm

It would seem I have forgotten the value how much value there can be in stream of consciousness documentation.. Reading through old journals, letters to myself, it dawned on me how helpful this words when my path was rocky, how precious memories of celebrations of happy times might have been lost had I not written of them.

Perhaps it is time I resumed this habit, to see if I cannot write the answer to myself and cure this unrest in my heart and soul.

It is not my norm to be so restive, unable to sleep, lacking concentration and the discipline to get through each day. I have, perhaps with the abandonment of those journals, lost the ability to recognize small mental victories and use those victories as motivational building blocks to the next one.

Is it that I am lonely? Is feeling lonely always a byproduct of being alone? If I were to answer those questions, I would say no to both.. More akin to lonesome.. the tree standing far from others, in winter sad, desolate, without color and life, bent by the wind. Yes, in summer alive with color, standing tall, vibrant. Yet, during each season a refuge, birds, insects find protection in the branches, burrowing animals make their homes beneath the solid trunk and in small hollow places.. Never really quite alone, but appearing so and without the warmth and light of the sun seeming sad and colorless, frozen in time.

Without the warmth, the light of the man among men that I seek, my Dominant, I am indeed, lonesome.. friends reach out to me for solace and wrap themselves in my protection and warmth, we rejoice together their victories, but without that light they cannot see mine.
Married/Attached Men
Posted:Mar 18, 2017 4:31 pm
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2017 7:02 am

Sometimes, when I am on IM, chatting with friends or a potential for the much desired Dom, I just want to scream at the number of married guys that want to chat. Usually starts something like this:

Hello.. sub/slut/bitch.. or whatever degrading name they can think of to turn me on to how dominant they are..

Then the rapid fire questions:
Do you like pain? Are you a cock worshipper? Going to fuck your ass til you scream?

When I finally do get a full sentenced typed, it is one simple question:

Are you attached?

Here we go, yes but...

Yeah... gotta love that block button!!!

Look butthead, yes but nothing.. if you cannot even dominate your own household how do you expect to dominate me? That dog don't hunt!

And what is this naming me in the first contact, you are not my Dom.

Really, dude.. why on earth would you even think that I would want to give up my whole being to please you just so you can leave my side and take your wife out to dinner? Expressly considering my profile quite clearly states I am not into attached men. Ohhhh I get it, you didn't read my profile... I am not worth the time.

If you would spend half the time you spend trying to cheat working on your marriage, you might just discover you have a good thing going. I know, my ex cheated.. interestingly enough... to me it wasn't even the cheating, it was the lying.. I kind of get the need for other women, but I do not get why anyone would ever take me for stupid.

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