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aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
8/18/2019 2:53 am

I'll tell you one thing J, It's getting harder and harder to meet people that ARE who they say they are. I consider myself one of the lucky ones for having met my Dom online and to still be with Him 3 years later Our initial courtship was very brief and we met almost immediately because we didn't want to waste time playing any computer games with each other. I actually loved his voice so much on the phone that I didnt want to see what He looked like til we met . I was pleasantly surprised. Hope you are well.

Hugs,
~M
.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


LoverOfGaiaSub 62F  
13857 posts
8/18/2019 2:58 am

It is a strange world...this cyber space meeting space where things aren't always as they seem. I think men get more scammers than women do so our perspective might be a bit different. I tend to trust my gut and listen to what it says more than what anyone says or writes to me. I've met men who I had never seen their photo and usually know who they are as soon as I lay eyes upon them. Good luck to your friend! And you are very lucky to have found your Sir.


spanks_and_wine 57M
228 posts
8/18/2019 3:01 am

I don't think it's that people have already been burned - it's the fear of it happening.
We have access to so much information now that it's very easy to see hundreds of reports of people being scammed, ripped off, attacked, abused etc. But we forget that is happening in a world of 7 billion people. Most people are good but the news we see is usually about the bad stuff - so our paranoia is fed and ours fears rise.

I don't have a solution except my standard Bill and Ted one :
"Be most excellent o each other"

If we all just try a little bit to be nicer to each other and accept that mistakes happen and it's not always a huge conspiracy perhaps we can loer the worry levels enough for people to take a change and trust each other.

Who knows we might even like talking to strangers and finding out new and interesting things about them!


anteater14 61M
2229 posts
8/18/2019 4:04 am

You're not wrong in your analysis - this place is full of scammers so meeting the real person can be really daunting.

I agreed to help out a local Domme with her computer, and while I was sure I could trust the person there was a nagging doubt to just be careful - would I be set upon by a male counterpart and robbed, would my car be sold to joy-riders to smash up, would I be imprisoned against my will ?

I thinned out my wallet to the bare minimum and took the non-remote car keys so that you had to use the key to open it and off I went .......... apart from a couple of "tests" to find out if I was expecting more than to help with her PC, I didn't even have to undress at the door or be tied to a chair to work

It is the trust of meeting a person for the first time and just not knowing who they really are, and given the lying scumbags that you see on the news every day of the week it is hard to trust anyone until you really get to know them.

Meet in a public place first, find out more and consider the next move.

D xxx

Carpe Diem - the past is history, and the future is bleak.


1uncommondom 77M

8/18/2019 5:58 am

It sounds less
like a trust issue
and more like a
fear issue.


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
8/18/2019 6:29 am

Since so many of the good folks have left this site, and new folks get discouraged early on, we are left with either scammers or a lot of asshats. For me, I find the percentage of good folks blog. But the blogs get invaded on these sites too. Bloggers, with few if any blogs, are just trolling for more opportunities to connect with people to scam or they are put up by the site to try and entice you getting a gold. I have not attempted to get connected with anyone local. And, for me, long distance has been a but, so I pretty much avoid such. The ones I woudl be interested in, are bloggers, usually already involved.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


girluvzworld 52M/56F

8/18/2019 6:56 am

Ya strange to accuse someone of being a man, especially when you are going to meet.lol. I never ask for numbers till after first meet.


drmgirl622 68F  
25884 posts
8/18/2019 7:03 am

I completely understand the whole phone issue. An imposter taught me a very valuable lesson in cyber communication. Unless there is enough trust to provide a phone # I'll walk away.


maletramp 64M
2092 posts
8/18/2019 8:48 am

You can buy a very cheap phone with minutes, that allows you to give all the trust you want and should it be a mistake, you'll only be out a few dollars;


maletramp 64M
2092 posts
8/18/2019 4:40 pm

    Quoting  :

From your description, it is more likely that he has issues that he doesn't want to confront.. The initial premise of your blog was correct: People, on both sides, are losing trust; To put it simply and obviously, women are tired of "the wankers" and men are tired of "the pros" .. I mentioned a "survey" in one of your posts.. It was saying a huge percentage of millennials have "no friends" and it turned out the same was true for all age groups.. The cell phone itself is likely at the center of the failure of people to connect on numerous grounds, but basically interacting this way really doesn't form a personal bond... Meeting in real time IS the only solution; And if they wont meet, you've done all you can, .. Your friend knows she's not the one with the issues, so the fact he chose to find an excuse is a great sign that she is better off in the long run..

Long Long ago I developed one of my few "absolute rules" about dating; It has proven to truly be uncanny in its precission: "Whenever anyone accuses you of something that you know to be untrue, you can be sure it applies to them".. This one works especially well with regard to "cheaters" but maybe it works for the age of the multisexuals..


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7020 posts
8/18/2019 4:42 pm

There is one very practical reason for exchanging phone numbers when getting ready to meet: shit happens. You could be delayed and don't want her (or him) to leave before you get to the meeting place, or think you've stood them up. If you have the phone number, you can call and explain. I got stood up a couple of times before I learned that lesson. She gets cold feet and you're sitting around feeling like a fool. If you've got a phone number, you can at least call and see if she's coming. If it's a burner and nobody answers then you can assume it's a scam and go on your merry way.

As for his reasons to want to talk on the phone, I can see his reasoning, but I would do that before I set up a meeting. Texting and sending photos is a favorite scam medium. God knows who or what's at the other end.


SirG83 59M

8/18/2019 8:43 pm

It's not as easy finding anyone real anymore


Vikingargo 67M
546 posts
8/22/2019 12:26 am

Maybe it's just me but being burnt and trusting tend to make one cautious. As for scammers, they're in the bars, hangouts, etc as well. Before its all said and done, its buyer beware. Still, putting oneself out in the cyber or real worlds takes guts. Keep the faith curvy.



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