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rosaenaluin 65F
9906 posts
10/19/2018 5:45 am
Self harm,


It makes me feel real sad, real sad.....

This weekend there is an other munch organised in this pub.

I see that one of my FET 'friends' is going...
So, without even thinking about it, i check this munch out,
see who is going and who is maybe going....

That was not a smart move to make.
In reading their profiles, they are all just into the kinky play ground act.
the thechnically, the actions, the fun! the game, the sex!

It makes me feel nausea.
It makes me feel so, so, so very sad, time and time again,
when i act so foolish to go and read profiles....

time and time and time again.
It seems that EVERY BODY is just into the kinky sex games, the kinky fuckery is all that matters............. how shallow.......... so empty......

Nowhere in not one profile, i did read anything about want to build that special connection, FIRST, needing that connection, first!
Nooo!
it is all about havin the same fetish, oh, and anal ofcourse!
that is the biggest taboo those vanillas can think off.

sooo sad, it makes me feel so sad.... so lost too....
were do i belong?
Were is finally, finally that safe place for me?

Not with those players.
They get scared of me, and angry too, when i tell them my version of BDSM, they knów they are lacking on soooo many levels....

Reading about munches, or partys, even worst!
make me feel sad & nausea for days!

When, When, ever will i meet this man, who IS dominant? and has sadistic needs too!?
Who understands that BDSM, being, BEING dominant asks something totally different, special, than just being able to hold a hard on, for some time....

Who understands that if you need to have a slave in your life, living it, not play act , you have to build a real deep connection, first.

You have to have those special character traits, to be able to give.
before you can take....

Self harm.....

rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
10/19/2018 5:59 am


slaveforyou365 63M  
4488 posts
10/19/2018 6:46 am



Slave rick


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
10/20/2018 2:14 am

slaveforyou365,

Slave rick,
you make me feel confused?
applaus? hmm....
What ever rocks your boat....


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
10/20/2018 2:26 am

sub_nouveau,
Thank you for your advice...

The thing is, when their first words are always, for years now; "what are you into'?
I am dumbfounded by soo much rudeness...

I always expect their next question to be; how much does it cost me?

They seem not to be interested in mé, as a person, but only in mé as some meat they can fuck/'play' abuse/use, do what ever they like....
It is about them! their hornyness.
I am an object, not a person, to them.

This happens in mails and in person contact too.....
Their ability to have a decent conversation is non existent.

I want something more then just a kinky play fuck buddy "fun". amp;



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