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Disgustingly cheerful: the Pollyanna Personality I have been getting the same feedback a lot lately. It started at work. I'm a gas station attendant. (Don't knock it boys, I LOVE my job) My town is a tiny little sneeze town, a farm town with a gas station and a local market and a LOT of farms. I know half of my customers by first name and the other half by their cigarette brand. One regular comes in, like clock work, at 8pm for his coffee, rock star, and slice of Pizza. I call him Mr. Ray. He's a third shifter, so he's rolling in having just woken up. And GRUMPY. But he's a character and I adore him. Since my first night at the register Mr Ray informs me that I'm disgustingly cheerful, too much for a guy who's morning starts at 8pm. So I tone it down when he comes in, lowering my voice, staying sweetly me but trying not to annoy him (until he's had that first glorious sip of coffee while paying) Many of my other regulars (townies) who know me outside of the register, think I'm too nice, too happy, particularly for the terrible things that have happened to me this year alone. I dance at work to music in my head while mopping. Even though some of them know there have been day where I wan't sure I"d go home to power. Or water. Or food. Or one of my minnows having issues (I have mentally ill minnows) Coincidentally I've run into a few Dominant men and no few sub males who also seem to think that I'm too cheerful, too happy. It makes me appear flighty, or ditzy apparently. (let's not forget that Dory Fey is ditzy, happens when you nearly smash your brain in on a car steering wheel) I tell people (proudly) that I work at a gas station and I'm greeted with reactions that range from pity (you poor thing, working in a gas station) to being looked down at for having a "low class job" and suddenly I'm being treated a if I have an 8th grade education and maturity level. (At least I'm working!) Along with this recent "too cheerful" state, I've also been informed I'm too honest. Maybe I am. I tend to be frighteningly honest and open with total strangers. Open book? I'm a journal laid out on a table for anyone to read through. I mean ... look who's blog you all are reading! Apparently, to further add to my list of crimes ... I am incapable of lying ... I get sick to my stomach, my stutter and aphasia come out full force. So I find myself overly honest instead. I tend to say what's on my mind, with little sugar coating. Not a good thing when what comes out of your mouth to the really hot 37 something single guy that comes in every night to buy beer and cigarettes that he smells like leather and warm nights! (I do love a farm town) It bothers me, I think, that cheerful and happy, even when your life is in a bad phase, is seen as ditzy or overblown, a dramatic. I've even been accused of being condescending or fake. It breaks my heart that so many subs out there seem to think that because I'm happy and sweet-natured that I don't have a Domme side. They never make it past coffee to find out. It shatters me that Dom men feel that I'm annoyingly cheerful. Maybe they feel that since I'm so happy, even in the darkest of times, I somehow don't need them, their care, their strength. It couldn't be more further from the truth. Fairies need guardians, we need strong Warriors to keep the evil of the world from pulling off our wings and leaving us to die dreamless. I am that fairy. And I am a rose colored glasses girl, dancing her way through a darkened world. I can't help that. I'll always have music in my head, and a little bit of dance in my walk. I believe in dragons and magic and that there is good in everyone (Skywalker Syndrome) Funny. Tonight when Mr. Ray came to the store, I was not smiling or happy. I'd had a terrible ordeal today that had stolen quite a lot of my smile. "I think I prefer disgustingly cheerful" He said to me tonight. "My night doesn't look up until I get my coffee and my Dory smile." He hugged me. A man I haven't seen smile in 62 days of working here hugged me. AND SMILED FOR ME. And I smiled back and told him the moon was beautiful tonight and he should peek at it before going to work. A glance out the window. He was standing by the door of his truck, looking up at the near-full moon. I guess I'm a lost cause. lust and love, your disgustingly cheerful, fabulous little Miss Moxie aka Dory the Fey |
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i think your attitude is far more advanced than most people will give you credit for. I do not see you as fluffy...be you, be that shining light. We all have that inside of us, sadly for some it is snuffed out, or it is at a dim level...yours shines out because it cannot help but be what it is, no ditz, or faking it, you are you. The cut worm forgives the plow. W. Blake, Proverbs of Hell
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hello , it seems you are in a good place . i love the detail but fear it might make you recognizable,,,,,, not a good thing in todays america . your slice of the US seems right out of thornton wilder ,,,  hold on to it as long as it lets you . that america is Gone ! ,,,,,,and maybe one of your characters will sweep you off your feet and carry you over a farmhouse threshold ? be good M .
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Just be yourself. There are other cheerful folks out there. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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