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Lotusflower1 57F
302 posts
2/4/2018 1:36 pm
Why.....


Why so make Doms wear black...is it because it's slimming...hides a multitude of sins...is it a *goth* thing....Does black scream *Look how masterly i am*....Does anyone know why people wear black at a funeral....i do...it's so that the person who has *passed* goes into the light...so the people wearing black are the wrong people to go toward..hence pushing them into the light they supposedly see.....I have only had one best friend for over 10 yrs..and she passed away suddenly a couple of years ago...from the time she had tummy pains..and was then sent to hospital for tests...within a week she was gone...aged only 50...leaving a huge void in my life..anyway she was bonkers so i thought dress code for her funeral was going to be *telly tubbies* or something even more insane...but surprisingly it was the traditional black option...she must have believed without me ever knowing...I will never forgive her for the song she had chosen to have blasting through the speakers at the funeral...considering it was a cremation...*Fire Starter* by the prodigy...i was the only one who didn't laugh...i couldn't laugh about anything that day...i have sniggered over it since yes....but on the day we were saying Bye it was a big no-no for me...anyway back to Doms...can anyone educate me about the reasoning behind the black clothing....it would be way more amusing if they wore a tutu....or a ballgown...someone please enlighten me

Blog Lotusflower1

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


xntrick 59M
2927 posts
2/4/2018 9:28 pm

Sorry for your loss.

I think they wear black to be obvious at a play party or a social gathering. I like my black leather blazer, but I prefer to have a multitude of colors when it comes to shirts. All black is just boring.


Lotusflower1 replies on 2/5/2018 5:19 am:
I agree...being individual is the way to be....plus you don't look like you need to hide a multitude of sins physically lol

yermaineman 65M
383 posts
2/5/2018 3:11 pm

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend Lotusflower1.
Whay-elp, as far as the black clothing thang's concerned, I'm unaware of any mandate or standard...
Meh! That said, I've never been one to stand on ceremony.
Hmmm, tutu eh? Could happen. I do enjoy igniting smiles. Just don't expect me to bust a move!! (at least anything resembling actual ballet,... happy to randomly freestyle though, sounds fun!)


Lotusflower1 replies on 2/6/2018 8:22 pm:
Random freestyling sounds like it could be a real HOOT...you would be my performing monkey I have some pretty complex opinions and thoughts on how male Doms *roll*....some of which would ruffle many feathers (fine if they are in a boa lol )....I am going to hold on to that little GEM for a while tho...but when i do the response i am expecting...will be very very interesting....as it will challenge who and what they are...nothing personal to any individual Doms..just my perceptions and deliberations..Watch this space lol

DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
2/8/2018 5:11 pm

The modern incantations of Dominants and Master at functions dedicated to our stuff, at least in the US stems from mostly movie starting Marlon Brando, which was based on true events from a motorcycle gang in California.

Motorcycle riders and gangs in particular wore leather apparel, including chaps to protect legs when riding. If they went down, the leather helped to protect their body from getting ground up on concrete or blacktop. It was the norm for motorcycle gangs, and for the most part still is.

The BDSM communities around the US adopted this same image. Specially in the Gay Leather-man communities. Gay communities adopted many practices of the BDSM folks. Who were generally very underground. There are also, elements of the old Prussian (German) armies of pre and post WWI time frames.
The black attire reflected a similar image, without the cost of Leather. Very formal events, mirrored day to day society special events where one would wear a Tux.

Up until the 1980's with the advent of personal computers and the internet, BDSM communities grew with leaps and bounds. They also became very join able. Many traditions, including the wearing of black by dominant at events still prevails.

Having been involved before the internet came about, I can tell you if you wore something bright, you were ostracized and considered strange.

I started wearing my wild Hawaiian style shirts to events in the early 90's , after all it was California. But I can tell you, I was looked at as very strange in those years at traditional events sponsored by groups that have been around since the 50's

I can say, that now, those conventions have broken down in many places. Dominants will wear attire that is not all black or leather. I had some leather stuff, and I hated wearing it. Too dam hot for most events and it irritated the funk out of my skin.

The Gay Leathermen set the standards early on and the heterosexual folks adopted it also.

A factor in dungeon play is, at least for most i have been, is the Male Dominants like to fade into the darkness that prevails in most dungeons. Thus the submissive/bottom is not seeing all he is up to. This adds to suspense. Their submissive subjects are naked, partial naked or allowed to be more feminine and colorful as they are the focus of the activities.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Lotusflower1 57F
442 posts
2/9/2018 6:52 am

WOW...that was an EPIC reply DD....much appreciated tho...feel way more well informed now so thank you kind Sir

{post 1117820}

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
2/10/2018 5:08 am

I get frustrated when alt changes words, it does not do it often to me but in the first part of this, they changed incarnations to incantations. And poor old dead Marlon Brando had a sex change to Marion.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Lotusflower1 replies on 2/11/2018 7:55 am:
Pmsl DD

yermaineman 65M
383 posts
2/11/2018 6:29 pm

I'll tell you what, I'm not sure about being your performing monkey, but hey, the muse can strike anytime,... but take my hand and we can break out into Snoopy's happy dance, riding and channeling his pure, unadulterated joy.
...and I'm much more inclined to the wild Hawaiian style shirts as mentioned by DD than to norms, dare I say uniforms of any type. Don't fence me in! Lol!!
...further still, rock on!!!.... feathers are meant to be ruffled. I'm very eager to hear your ruffling thoughts and opinions! I can still soar on ruffled feathers, they smooth out rather quickly, don'cha'know... nudge nudge, wink wink...


Lotusflower1 57F
442 posts
2/12/2018 3:36 pm

THAT was a lovely message yermaineman,,,,and yes ruffling feathers is a HOOT...but the ones on here are genuinely meant....from observations and reading between lines,,,I have a theory on the male Doms on here...I have thought it for quite some time now...and it WILL be posted and WILL ruffle many feathers but i am still working on it's delivery...as it has to be perfect...I have an affinity with words so i could write my findings in a 20 sentence paragraph in minutes...but this is pretty important shit...so one word being misread...misinterpreted or misconstrued is NOT an option...it will be posted this week...and i am expecting a RIOT But I am made of pretty strong stuff..so more than prepared for the tongue lashing retaliations lol

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


yermaineman 65M
383 posts
2/14/2018 8:58 pm

Hey,... I'm thinkin that if I can get someone to dance with wild abandon, (tutu, feather boa or not) that's a pretty good place to start just about anythang.
...perfection is certainly worth waiting for,... but it's not the only thing worth waiting for.
Reading the musings and ruminations of a cunning linguist is also highly anticipated, composed with clear intent and artfully presented.
I am eagerly awaiting your finely honed observations,... and the resulting huh bub...
let them there feathers a'fly!
Speaking of tongue lashings..... lol


Lotusflower1 57F
442 posts
2/15/2018 2:33 pm

What the FUCK lol

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


yermaineman 65M
383 posts
2/15/2018 7:13 pm

...never mind


Lotusflower1 57F
442 posts
2/16/2018 3:14 pm

Didn't have you down as a quitter.....your message was read with tired eyes...and it wasn't exactly straight forward...so no tantrums needed

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


Silver_core 57M  
301 posts
3/10/2018 4:03 am

I look fractionally less like a sack of shit wearing black to be honest, you're right it does help with a number of sins, having said that, I actually wear very little that is black, maybe I should revisit my shopping habits, might mean my strike rate goes up *

* I don't really think a black T shirt is going to make much difference.


Lotusflower1 replies on 7/25/2018 5:48 pm:
You really need to work on your self esteem issues dude...Always putting yourself down....You need to turn that frown upside down....Have you ever wondered why the *beautiful and perfect* celebrities are having botox..lip fillers....porcelain veneers for the almost TOO perfect perfect smile...They don't see perfection in their mirrors but we deem them as being totally perfect...but the fact is noone is perfect...these celebs have everything...money..mansions...but they split up and divorce and get dumped regardless..In my humble opinion but ofcourse i cannot substanciate this...they become so self absorbed and self obsessed they become ugly..there is NO uglier trait..ironically than being vain..So they can look totally wonderful but i am guessing that behind closed doors they are high maintenance divas...so just CHILL...learn to like yourself...a wonderful heart is worth way more than a pretty face and a perfect body...I am still blaming my sons for me not having a flat belly EVER..but it's wearing a bit thin now they are both 26 and i have had 26 years to MAKE it flat but i just can't be arsed


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