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Silence As Punishment Silence As Punishment Earlier today, I once again came across a post on a popular blog that mentioned silence as punishment. It seems to be a common misconception that this is an appropriate way to deal with misbehavior. I’m going to step up on my (admittedly very tiny) soapbox today because I want to talk a bit about why withdrawing attention is not a suitable as punishment. Not once. Not ever. Punishment should about bringing the submissive back to the Dominant, not pushing them away. It should be a way to bring the focus back to the dynamic. Most submissives can tell you that the guilt of disappointing their Dominant is the very worst punishment. The physical and material acts of punishment are an outward expression of these emotions. A person who is ignored learns not that their actions were inappropriate, but that they, as a person, are undeserving of affection. It may seem effective in the short term, because the submissive will return to the dominant, seeking affection and affirmation, but the damage is already done. The doubt is already placed… “they love me, not because of who I am, but because of how I behave.” Submissives… demand better. Educate. Make yourself heard. Dominants… if you’ve made this mistake before, step up, overcome ignorance, and learn to do better. “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”~ Henry Ford pleasurewhore~ "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.” |
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I cannot agree with this more. I am one that silence is extraordinarily painful. When a dominant yells it's easy for me to disregard him/her. I lose respect for the out of control and basically I'll do what I want when I want.. I am not really being submissive. If the dominant abandons the issue of error or me with silence tho...I shut down emotionally. I can handle the screaming....but the silence I consider abandonment. If you are going to abandon me when I most need your guidance to tighten our bond.......be honest about it...not lazy. And to me, that's what silence is.....lazy. It's a delicate walk for Dominants. I respect those that do this well. It's hard work and intensely intimate.
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hmmm time outs or corner time has been the only thing that is punishement for me but having it explained why is important
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Very nice
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please, as always, take what you need and leave the rest. "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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